


Tribulation

by Lopsided_Whiskey_Grin



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Love Confessions, M/M, POV First Person, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 13:56:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopsided_Whiskey_Grin/pseuds/Lopsided_Whiskey_Grin
Summary: Hank realizes he's fallen in love, but how can he do anything about it when he breaks everything he's ever cared for? Based on Matt Maeson's beautiful song 'Tribulation'.
Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor
Kudos: 22





	Tribulation

I've been doing this for a long time, Connor. And no, I'm not just talking about this detective shit, although I know you could access those memory archives of yours and tell me the exact time and day of the week I was inducted into the academy. 

Nah, what I'm talking about is how long I've been on this goddamn planet, kid. I've seen a lot and I've been through a hell of a lot more. If I'm being perfectly honest, it has been no walk in the fuckin park, not by any stretch. It's left me broken, bruised, and beyond saving - and that is not easy for me to admit to you. I've learned how to cope over the years, though not in any way that's actually good for me; which you've witnessed firsthand a couple times, embarrassingly enough. 

But despite all that, despite every goddamn thing I know I don't deserve, I think I've gone and fallen in love with you. Probably against my better judgment, but hell, my judgment is kind of shit these days. You drive me out of my mind with all the ways I need you. With all the ways I want to hold you. To touch you. To kiss you. Fuck. 

Connor, the thing is, I don't think I can ever learn how to love you right. I don't think I can love you the way you really ought to be loved. How would I even know how  _ not _ to fuck that up when I've never felt this way before about  _ anyone? _

_ Darlin', can't you see _

_ I'm a broken man _

_ With addictive tendencies _

_ And I think I love you _

_ But I don't ever think I can _

_ Ever learn how to love just right _

I guess what I'm really trying to tell you, Connor, is to run…just run and get as far away from me as possible. I'm a goddamn mess, I know that. I can't seem to keep anything in my life together - it all falls apart as soon as I touch it. I look into those deep brown eyes of yours, eyes I can and  _ have _ gotten lost in, but as hard as I've tried, I can't see a way I won't absolutely destroy everything we've already built between us, even though it would be the last fucking thing I'd ever want to do. 

_ So run away from me _

_ Run as far as your _

_ Dark brown eyes can see _

_ Just as soon as you know _

_ That I don't ever think I can _

_ Ever learn how to love you right _

_ Oh and all the ways you won't bend _

_ Are the only ways I live my life _

I don't want to hurt you, Connor. How could I ever live with myself knowing I had hurt you? But it's bound to happen, because at this point in my life I don't even know how to  _ begin _ fixing the broken pieces of myself, to learn how to make myself whole enough to love you the way you deserve to be loved. 

_ Oh and I'm tryin' to cope _

_ And burn just right, yeah _

_ Oh and I don't ever think I can _

_ Ever learn how to love you right _

So please, stop looking at me like that. And please don't put your hand on my cheek like that. Fuck, I shouldn't have said anything. Can you listen to me, just this once, Connor? Just run away, transfer to another precinct, move to another state - something,  _ anything.  _ Because the longer you're here in front of me, the harder I fall and the harder it will be for me to let you go. 

_ I think I'm better on my own _

_ But I get so lost in you _

_ I think I'm better on my own _

_ But I'm so obsessed with you _

And if I can't let you go now, I don't think my heart will ever be able to, no matter how much it breaks us both. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little ficlet! It's been a long time since I've written anything and when I finally pulled up a blank word doc, this is what came out. If you have a chance, please look up Matt Maeson's song 'Tribulation', either the original version or the stripped version. I have found it applies to so many of my favorite ships, but to Hank x Connor most especially <3


End file.
